A faint disclaimer is nobody's friend

Do not leave dirty dishes in the sink. The wrath of the ancients will fall upon your head. You will be cursed and misery will accompany you for your remaining days. You will constantly trip over things that are not there. The IRS will audit you. Your dog will run away at the sight of you. Your shoelaces will not stay tied. Mysterious clowns will seem to always be watching you. Rabid squirrels will invade your home. Your food in the work refrigerator will mysteriously spoil (and only yours. No one else's.) Your car will start making the expensive knocking/tapping sound and NO ONE WILL TALK TO YOU AT PARTIES EVER AGAIN.