Mwahaha, Apple made a boo-boo

Those of us who have been putting up with smug Applytes (you know I never realized there was such an apt pun there until this minute) for many years snigger unsympathetically at their misfortune (though mostly I just like this piece):

Apple apologizes for decimating the infrastructure of modern society with apocalyptic Maps application

Darren Franich

 One week ago, dystopian techno-despotic megacorporation Apple effectively stunted the evolution of human society with the introduction of a new operating system — named “iOS 6,” as in “iOS 666,” as in Satan — which replaced beloved cartography system Google Maps with a far more insidious in-house application. Called simply “Maps,” the application was filled with images from a fearsome Bizarro-Earth where Portland was a nature preserve, Europe was accessible on the 405 freeway, and the North American landbridge never sank back into the ocean. A generation of smart phone users — incapable of holding more than two directions in their mind at once — found themselves wandering the streets of our once-great society, hunted, despised, living like animals. Home? We had no home. According to Apple, our home was only accessible by going northeast on a southbound dirt road and taking a left turn at the Yangtze River Valley.
Having heard the mournful cries of iPhone users echoing throughout the land, Apple CEO Tim Cook has written an official apology letter at Apple’s website.